23 Things I Learned at 23
I am fully aware that 23 is young… very young.
This is such an important and formative time in my life, and I’m hyper-aware of it. My thoughts and perspectives change rapidly — not in a way where I don’t know who I am or what I believe. I know myself very well. I mean, as well as I can at this point in my life.
However, change is inevitable, and I welcome it. I can always grow more, learn more, and change my mind over and over again.
Similarly, the reason I don’t have any tattoos (and don’t really plan on it) is because who I am today, at this very moment, is not who I’m going to be tomorrow, or in a month — let alone in a year. I embrace it for what it is: evolving. I never want to be stagnant. If I’m lucky, I will continue evolving forever. I mean that mentally, physically, and spiritually.
All this to say, who I am today is not who I’ve been. It sounds stupid to say — like, duh, obviously — but I think it’s important to acknowledge. Although I’m 23, I’ve gone through enough change to feel confident about making this list.
Everything I share comes from experience: the few times I made the right decision, but more often from making the wrong one. Who knows — maybe it was all so I could share it with you. But that’s a big maybe.
You are who you surround yourself with.
Travel. Money will come back. Time won’t. You can’t put a price on the people you meet and the things you’ll see.
Give people more grace. Everyone is trying their best — including you. Your parents, your friends — it’s everyone’s first time living, too.
Don’t sacrifice your health for your appearance.
Nobody is looking at you — and I say that in the best way possible. Wear what you want. Dance how you want. If someone is looking, let them. If it’s with judgment, that’s a theme issue.
The goal isn’t always to be different. There’s comfort in knowing there are people like you, going through similar things. Use that as a way to connect. It will do you far better than isolation.
You can’t carry everything on your own. If you need help, ask for it.
It’s normal not to know. Nobody knows.
Try it — and if it doesn’t stick, move on and try something else.
Save your money. You’ll thank yourself later.
Keep your space clean. You'll be able to feel the difference.
Do things alone.
Call your loved ones. They miss you.
Move your body. Find what you enjoy and stay consistent.
Do not treat anyone better than you treat yourself.
Contrary to the “you don’t owe anyone anything” mindset — you do. You owe honesty. You owe respect. You owe effort.
When you view everything as an experience, you can’t really lose.
Sometimes you jus need to cry.
You don’t need to post everything. — Keep things private. If you aren't certain, save it in the drafts. And don't post it for a specific someone or to get a reaction. Just trust me, it's not going to make you feel good.
Say sorry. It goes a long way. You’re allowed to make mistakes — just own them.
Believe people when they show you who they are. They won’t change unless they want to. It's not your job to change them.
You can do it all. Fuck an aesthetic — do all of it. Go out Saturday night and go to pilates Sunday morning. It’s about balance.
And lastly
Often, what you think you want isn’t what you actually need